As John Dunn once wrote

No man is an island in and of itself..

Theraputic Things

Recenlty I have rediscoverd some things that have a high theraputic value, but in a socratic method I will ask it as a question.

Why is listening to Smashing Pumpkins Zero and Bullet with Butterfly wings so loud in your car that you can't keep a thought in your head feel so damn good when you need to smother any brain activity?

The answer is like how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop. no one knows except for the fucking owl.

But none the less the louder the better.

Or how about playing your own instruments. When Im in need of some serious venting few things outside of alcohol work as well as banging an E minor chord on your guitar. Quite liberating actually. Again, the more abrasive the better. Sometimes profanity comes out of your mouth sometimes not so bad song lyrics that emit from your soul, but either way it makes you feel a whole hell of a lot better.

Then with your fingers still tingling from the vibrations you pack a dip and drive around.

This my friends is how to quite any soul.

And We're back...

So then it happens. For awhile there you don't think it will. That life that you knew for 4 months has been drank into oblivion so you think, but it happens. You start school again.
By now you have your grades. Some people did well, some didn't, some people aren't there anymore, but that is of no consequence. You pick up where you left off, and actually forget you were even on Christmas break.

There is a renound sense of i would say calmness. We have been there before. It is not as new and exciting, but if anything it may be a tad daughting becasue now you know exactally what is in store for the next few months. The first case you read is slow. (it has probably been awhile since you read anything with substance). Then the next one is a bit easier. By the end of preparing your first day assignments, you are ready to get after it.

Going back to law school after the break is an interesting situation. The first day back you get a bunch of phone calls from your buddies, but once you say you are back in law school they mutter an "Oh" and stop calling you. The end of the week leaves you as you were when you left for the break. Alone with all your law buddies, and what friends you can chase down on a friday night if you even have time to do that.

However it feels good. Kinda like an old slipper. You quickly gage your profs and figure out the ones that you really have to bust ass for, and you go on about your business.

In previous posts I mentioned that i may talk about the people in the different levels of law school. I've decided not to do that. Why you may ask? Well, it is because it doesnt really matter. It is totally whatever. Law School is a very personal thing. Yes, there are certain elements much like marine boot camp for your mind, but the perspectives are totally different. To everyone law school is different. I like to go at it alone, some need more people with them, but either way it is how you choose to view it.

I also apologize for my lack of funny posts. Things haven't been all that funny recently. I mean there a few law jokes i could tell, but they are a waste of time unless you were there specifically.

What is kinda funny is that I lead two diffrent lives. My first one is the law school one. Im serious, standoffish, wear my hat down low, and get through the week. Mostly under everybody's radar. I like it that way. It gives me time to think and to study. This was the system last semester and they are letting me come back to law school so im going to stick with it. Then there is the weekend life. Here i am loud, drunk, wild and do crazy things. The one life doesn't know the other at all.

The Aftermath

And then like that, finals are over. You walk out of the law school with a sense of relief of being done, but the dread of finding out your grades at a much later time. You may very well find yourself standing on the street as I was not knowing what to do with yourself. I for one said Fuck It and went to Austin that very night. The drive and the booze did me very well; however it is a different type of drinking. Instead of drinking to have fun as an undergrad you now drink till you can't feel your feelings anymore. This takes considerably more alcohol, but nevertheless it is worth the endeavor.
I boozed for 5 days straight, I had to stop this odessy because my lymph nodes were beginning to swell, and my stomach began to hurt everytime i drank a sip of alcohol. So my weekend came crashing to a hault. My Christmas was bittersweet I never truely got into the spirit of things partly because I forgot there was another world beyond law school and for other reasons. Nonetheless Christmas came and went.
Then all of a sudden weird things happened. .......
I started to miss law school. While I had been out on break i had spent too much money; got two traffic violations, and destroyed what little relationship I had with a girl. Nice job huh? I thought so.
Then it came to me a horrid/beautiful thought. What i thought of as the walls of the law keeping me from expierencing my life I realized it was the opposite. It was the walls of law protecting me from myself and other people full of BS. The law in theory holds no passion (which it does, but it is not the passion as we tend to refer) it holds miles of research, books, and philosphy which can keep you busy for days straight, for a lifetime. I came to realize I am a better person when I am in law school. I think faster, run faster, don't drink as much, when I do get time to talk to people Im nicer, and more organized. Sick huh?
Perhaps a cynic would say that I'm just hiding from the human expierence. Well perhaps, but shut the fuck up I can do what I want, and dedicating a life at the law is something the average human expierence cannot comprehend.
New Years was one for the record books. I got wasted on 6th street, make a walk from 6th to 28th street, rode the horses at Littlefield fountian, stole a turtle and threw him back, ate only bacon at Kirby lane's dripping wet. The next day I went to a wine tasting in the Hill Country and (Flat Creek Estates) and ate a chicken fried steak overlooking a river at sunset in Marble Falls. Quite a remarkable New Years.
Now I'm just waiting for it to start again. The second semester of law school. It is weird because now everybody in the classroom as been through a final, and perhaps we are all a little wiser for it. At least I hope I am. I want to be committed to something again. To pass the time I've tried reading some novels, but I find the writing so elementary it makes me sick. Now I wait. Wait on grades wait on class wait on things to pick back up.